Mercies in Disguise

It has been 3 months since our last hospital stay – *deep sigh of relief*- and our little chunker is now up to a whopping 10 and a half pounds! Now that some of the clouds have lifted, so to speak, I can look back over the last months and see God’s hand at work.

I read a blog post last night that resonated with me (surprise, right? I’m always getting inspired by other people’s writing). Though she writes about God seeing them through Cancer, what she had to share was exactly what I’ve said over and over (or thought if I haven’t said it). She writes:

Not only did God provide for our physical needs, He also provided for our emotional needs. Before cancer invaded our lives, I’d look at people going through difficult situations and think, “Wow, they are so strong. I wonder how they’re doing it?” 

Now, insert Hope’s various medical issues instead of Cancer and you’re talking about us.

The funny thing is, we’re now the people others refer to when they say that.

I cannot begin to tell you how many times I’ve heard, “I don’t know how you do it. I could never do what you’re doing.” To which I think, “Neither can I.”

And I can’t.

It is not me. It is Christ in me. It is his strength in me.

The blogger goes on:

But as we walked through cancer, the following  verses became very real to me.

For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but One who has been tested in every way as we are, yet without sin. Therefore, let us approach the throne of grace with boldness, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us at the proper time. ~ Hebrews 4:15, 16

Prior to my husband’s diagnosis, I didn’t have that strength, nor did I need it, but God provided it at the proper time.

God provided for me at the proper time.

To every person who thinks they could never do what I have done, or endure what I have endured – you are right. YOU cannot.

But Jesus can.

He has. He will – at the proper time.

Believe me. One year ago, I could never have imagined where this journey would lead, but I am thankful for where I am. Where we are.

Don’t get me wrong. I have prayed, and prayed, and prayed for my child. The desire of my heart has been and is for her total healing, and it hurts that my child has had to suffer what she has. However, I would NOT give up what I have seen, heard and experienced of my God.

There were things I believed about God. Now I know them.

I believed He was my provider. Now I know He is.

I believed He was my comforter. Now I know He is.

I believed He was my healer. Now I know He is.

I have learned how weak I am AND just how strong He is.

I have learned just how small I am AND how big He is.

I have learned that with God, I can endure far more than I thought possible.

I have learned that the Lord has made me far more capable than I imagined. I have also learned that I still have a long way to go.

I am thankful that He chose me for this – that He is taking the time to refine me and build my character. That He sees something worth building.

As one of my current favorite songs – which has become my battle cry of sorts – says, “You hear each spoken need. Yet love us way too much to give us lesser things.”

I can truthfully say, just as my fellow blogger did, that while I wouldn’t wish any of this on my worst enemy, I wouldn’t trade the experience and the lessons I have learned for the world. I, too, feel like Job who after coming out of the storm of his life declared,

My ears had heard of you but now my eyes have seen you. Job 42:5

As one of my current favorite songs – which has become my battle cry of sorts – says, “You hear each spoken need. Yet love us way too much to give us lesser things.”

Thank you for hearing our spoken needs, but for knowing our deeper need. Our need to know you – not to just hear of you, but to see you.

Thank you Lord for the trials of this life. Thank you for your mercies in disguise.

Blog credit:


Here’s the song if you’d like to hear it. Blessings by Laura Story. One of these days, I’ll get around to singing it.


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